Friday, May 3, 2013

What if???

   April 12th, 2013 was supposed to be Ari's Friday Party. Our plans were to pick up Ari from school and watch the Yankees Game and barbeque some hot dogs to kick start our weekend. But it wasn't meant to be.
  When we arrived at school, Ari was with her Aide and she was in tears. She had fallen on the locker room floor. It wasn't her fault. She had slipped on someone's soap, that was carelessly left there and a danger to any student whose foot might land there. We immediately knew something was terribly wrong despite the Aide's effort to mask it. Ari was voicing a great deal of pain about her left ankle and leg which is quite unusal considering the fact that she has little sensation on her left side.
   So the medical journey began. We drove rather quickly over to our doctors office and then got sent for xrays. Two days later we were at an ortho's office getting a cast on Ari's left Ankle to immobilize it. Her ankle looked liked the size of a baseball. It was so swolen, purple, and bruised. She was back in her wheelchair for 3 weeks. Since then we have visited our pediatric ortho and physiatrist at Shriners for more xrays, an air cast, and orders for physical therapy 3 times/week for the next 3 months.
   I think we are still in shock and trying to deal with the reality of Ari being in a wheelchair 24/7. The Doctors believe this will be a long rehab as her muscles and tendons attempt to heal. We are trying to be optimistic but it feels like we got the wind knocked out of our sails.. It has brought back all the memories of fighting with and for Ari to ambulate and it seems quite unfair that she has to suffer because of someone else's carelessness and neglect. We are angry that she has to start all over again with learning to walk, we are angry that she's lost some of her independence, we are angry that the adults we entrusted to be responsible while she was in their care at school failed her miserably, and we are angry that those adults don't even have a clue at the loss that we are all experiencing!!!
   I think the uncertainty scares Michael & I both. The fear of not knowing when she will walk again. The "what if...?"


  1. Oh no! I will be sending good vibes to you and Ari! I can relate to this so well. About five years ago, I slipped and fell on some water on the floor (somebody had intentionally turned the spout on the drinking fountain so that water would spray onto the floor). Turns out, I broke the top of my femur right where the blood supply goes to the rest of the leg, so I had to have emergency surgery to place three pins in my leg to save the circulation.

    It was a long, long recovery...I wasn't allowed to bear any weight whatsoever on my leg for three months. My doctor wasn't sure if I'd walk independently ever again, and it was a difficult road, but I'm back on my own two feet, walking without crutches or anything.

    So I've been there...I know how it feels and my heart goes out to you and Ari. Hugs!! Hang in there, and you said it yourself - you can cross any finish line!!

    1. Thanks K for your encouraging words, healing vibes, and reassurance at this time. I am so sorry you have first hand experience with an injury of this nature. Thanks so much for reminding me that "Yes We Can cross this Finish Line!" And more so for believing that we have the resiliency to get through this. You are a heroe everyday:) Big Hugs to you. Ari thinks you are amazing too!

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  3. Prayers for Ari for quick healing, and for peace as you all navigate this trying time! I came and found you and this blog because the two of you zoomed past me this weekend at the ARP half (my first!). I have an older brother with severe disabilities and we include him in everything we do, and seeing the two of you out there warmed my heart and put a huge smile on my face! I think your mission is amazing, and thank you for the inspiration this weekend and the inspiration that will stick with me forever!

  4. Dear Koszalka Family,
    Thank you so much for your heartfelt words. I wish we could have spoken with you at the race! We love to talk with other runners and their family members who have disabilities. It is wonderful to hear about your brother and how your family has included him in all that you do. He must be a very special person. Your kind message will stick with us forever as well:)
    Wishing you Miles of Smiles ~ Kelli & Ari