Yes We Can Cross Any Finish Line!

It has been a very exciting month for us @ Team Ari. In March we ran our first marathon and decided we are not stopping! In honor of Ari becoming 13 in April we will begin our Celebrate13 Challenge which translates to running 13 half-marathon(13.1 miles) events  in 2013. To kick start our journey we were recently honored in a story by Women You Should Know. Check us out in this article!
http://www.womenyoushouldknow.net/team-ari-yes-we-can-cross-any-finish-line/
~Wishing you Miles of Smiles, Team Ari

The Gift

I will be your voice when you cannot speak up for yourself
I will be your eyes when you cannot see
I will be your legs when you cannot run
I will be your arms when you cannot reach high
I will be your hands when you cannot write
I will be your fingers when you cannot button a shirt or zip a pant.

I will be your biggest fan when you try something new
I will be your protector from harms way
I will knock down the doors and barriers when you can't
I will try to stop the hate
I will be your mother, advocate, cheerleader, doctor, nurse, mentor, nurturer, & therapist.

And you will be my teacher
You will show me how to appreciate all that I have
and never take anything for granted
You will show me how to enjoy every sunrise, lavish breakfast in bed sundays,
and celebrate pigtail mondays
You will show me how to laugh when I feel like crying
You will show me how much fun it is to dance to Katy Perry before you go to bed each nite
You will  show me that the prettiest color in the rainbow is your favorite color blue
You will show me how to be the best mother, wife, friend, and human being that I can be
You will teach me things I never thought possible
And I will be your forever loving student.

Wishing You Miles of Smiles
~Team Ari



Liebster Award

I graciously accept the Liebster award and feel quite honored to be given this distinction with these other great bloggers!  Thank you for choosing me K, who's blog, Transcending CP: Shattering the limits of a disability is a fantastic read. K is undoubtably an author in the making, so I wouldn't be surprised to see her publish a book down the road!

Here are the rules regarding the Liebster Award, as copied and pasted from K's blog:

1. You must thank the person who gave you this award 
2. You must display the Liebster heart on your blog
3. You should nominate 3-5 up-and-coming blogs (some say 200 is small, others say 3000 is small) 
4. Each person must post 11 things about themselves 
5. Answer the questions given to you by the blogger who nominated you
6. Create 11 questions for those you nominate to answer
7. Notify your nominees and provide a link back to your post. 
8. Don’t give the award back to the blog that gave it to you.

Eleven things about me:

1. I am a runner.
2. I wear crazy socks 
3. I am a peanut butter cup junkie (Trader Joes sells the best milk chocolate peanut butter cups!)
4. I can never find my car keys!!!!
5. I love dancing to Katy Perry music with Ari
6. I have always wanted to learn to play the piano (its on my bucket list!)
7. I am scared to drive over bridges but I love, love, love running over the Golden Gate Bridge
8. I am a technophobe. I just bought my Iphone one year ago
9. I hava pet peeve. I hate rude people!
10. I am a huge New York Yankees Fan! You can't keep fme rom watching a game:)
11. My first car was a white convertible MGB. I still wish I had it!

It has been so difficult to select blogs for this award as so many of them touch my heart and are inspiring!
But here are the bloggers that I have decided to nominate. :-)

Cary at The Small Stuff: Cary is the mother of twin boys with CP and her writings are profound. Love what I read , especially the post "New Dreams":-)

Bron at Big Brother,Little Sister & the Baby. Bron is an athlete too!I love her photographs of all her children. She is amazingly talented.

Michelle at Big Blueberry Eyes: A mother of two children,one with Down Syndrome. Very uplifting and the kids are adorable too!
These are the questions that K had for her nominees, I had fun in answering these thought provoking questions :-)

1. What is your favorite meal? Crab toss salad at my favorite shabby chic downtown restaurant
2. If you could go on vacation anywhere, where would you go? Paris, I love Paris in May!
3. What is one thing that you have learned from special needs? I've learned so many things but if I had to choose one I guess it would be that's "its journey not the destination" that really matters.  
4. Do you have a favorite quote? If so, what is it? A hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure despite overwelming obstacles ~ Christopher Reeve
5. What is one movie that you could watch over and over again without getting bored? Mean Girls, lol
6. What is one skill that you wish you had? playing the piano
7. When you were a child, what was your favorite toy? Can't say I remember, but I loved riding my bike
8. What is your favorite animal? A bischon
9. What is your favorite candy? Trader Joes Peanut Butter Cups
10. If you could teach the world one lesson, what would it be? To respect individual differences
11. What is your earliest memory? standing in my crib, waking up from a nap and wanting oreo cookies

These are the questions I have created for my nominees:
1. If you could be president for a day what law would you enact?
2. If you could have dinner with a famous person, who would that be?
3. If you could win the lottery, what would you do with all your loot?
4. What is your worst habit?
5. Who is your favorite actress/actor?
6. What was your best friends name in elementary school
7. How old were you when you had your first kiss?
8. What is your favorite fragrance?
9. If you could change your name what would you change it too?
10. What is your favorite charity?
11. What strengths have you aquired since you have had a child with special needs?

Wednesdays with Joy

   Every Wednesday for the past seven years this wonderful woman comes into our home and embraces us with her endless love and compassion to serve special needs family's like ours. Her name is befitting, her name is Joy. She is a nurse, caregiver, friend, & nurturer to all of us. She has been a "grandmother" to Ari, teaching her things like baking, sewing, and making the best ham and cheese sandwhich that one could ever take a bite out of. And I can't forget the basketball lessons. Joy loves to teach Ari how to dribble a basketball in our hallway, their makeshift basketball court, where Ari pretends to beat her best friend at hoops. She brings countless hours of laughter and joy to our hearts each week. She always takes special care to remind us of the things that Ari CAN do! I think its a gift of hers that we will always cherish.
   Joy has so many special qualities.  I like to call her our very own "Betty White". She has more humor, energy and drive than most twenty somethings. She still works and plays like a person in their thirties. She generously donates her time like a person in their sixties. I am forbidden to share her age but lets just say she could possibly be Betty's younger sister. Joy defies age and limits. She is so full of life and I wish I could bottle her endless optimism. Nothing can keep her down, nothing stops her, not even a terminal illness. If you were to meet her you would have no idea that she is a cancer survivor or that Cancer struck again for the third time this past December. It seems like it was such a long time ago but less than two months have passed since the cancer reared its ugly head.
   It was almost Christmas and I found myself at the hospital everyday with Joy while she was undergoing surgery & treatment for this dreadfull disease. She insisted that I not come to see her, that I had enough on my plate to keep me busy with home, work, and the holidays. But I insisted I needed to be there.  She thanked me for comforting her and told everyone I was there to give her emotional support. What she didn't realize was that I needed reassurance. I needed to see her. I was not ready to say goodbye and I needed another Wednesday with Joy. So everyday became a Wednesday that week, full of endearing moments for me. She said she just wanted to taste a cookie, so I brought 2 dozen of her favorite cookies to share with she and her hospital roomie. I didn't care if she only took one bite, I just wanted her to have a smile on her face. She said she wanted to travel, so I found a beautiful exotic vacation magazine for her to read. She spoke about her unfinished bucket list. I wept privately all week as she talked about her cancer and I listened. During this time I learned even more about this remarkable woman and her life's story. She is truly my Heroe. She is truly a Warrior.
   Last week twenty-five of us gathered for a surprise Birthday bash for Joy. We all came to honor and celebrate the many years Joy has graced our lives with her presence. It was the best birthday party I've gone too in a long time. In true Joy fashion she was so humbled that her family and friends would come together for her special day. We all hope that we can celebrate another birthday with Joy. I secretly hope that I can celebrate more Wednesdays with Joy!
Wishing you Miles of Smiles
~Team Ari

Running for Keeps

   In 2006 I made one of the best decisions of my life, second to marrying the man I love and having three awesome children. Drum roll please .. I decided I wanted to be a runner. Now mind you, I had never been athletic. I was actually rather challenged when it came to sports. My physical activity as a child consisted of cheer leading and dance. But, I had alot of reasons to run now. Ari was a huge incentive  because I knew she should would never be able to run and I just felt like I shouldn't take anything for granted anymore. I also needed a big time stress reliever to keep my sanity. So I started jogging on the treadmill at my local gym and I discovered it was actually pleasant. I really liked breaking a sweat as I tried to get faster on that machine!!!
    So, often times I would challenge myself by increasing the speed or incline on that lovely equipment and I slowly found myself running five miles and not even realizing how much time had passed. I also took great pleasure in running along side of a gym rat who could run faster and looked much more like a runner than myself. I would glance at their numbers on the machine next to mine and take notice of the Miles per hour (Mph), distance, and time logged. I was secretly racing them in my mind!! Slowly but surely I fell in love with running. I started reading running magazines and researching training plans. My very first racing goal was to complete a 5K in less than 30 minutes. I recruited my athletic soccer player son to pace me at my first race. Say Yes to Success. Nic paced me into the finish line in 29 minutes and 49 seconds. A runner was born!!
  And so the story goes, I saved my sanity and kept running, & running through many marathons, and even some ultramarathons. Running was and still is my quiet time, my re-energizer, my peace & calm, my endorphin rush, and my second love. It is and always will be a bonding time with my children that I am eternally grateful for. I have run some extraordinary races in extraordinary places. From the Coastal landscape of Monterey, to the California Headlands, over the Golden Gate Bridge, down the American River Canyon, and through the night at a 200 mile relay in Southern Oregon. From the Redrock Canyons in Utah, to the Historic start line of the Boston Marathon. I have heard the Wall of Cheer from the girls at Wellesy and received many a high five from the Boston College Boys at Heartbreak Hill. I have run through the streets of Paris, down the Champs Elysee to the Eiffel Tower. I have passed Frenchmen and listened to the cheers of Young children as I ran a 20k race from Paris to St Germaine!
   No matter where or how I run  I will always be grateful for the ability I have to use my legs and stride. I cherish each and every run I have experienced with Lindsay, Nic, and now Ari. It has been a labor of love to push Ari in her chair or attempt to keep up with my fast competitive runners Lindsay & Nic. They motivate me and make me want to strive to be my best. Whether its the best runner or being the best mother I can be. Running is for keeps in this family!
~With Miles of Smiles,
Team Ari

The Placard

   Ari was about two years old when I had this conversation with our beloved pedatrician, a doctor that held true to his beliefs of practicing medicine and serving the patients that he saw daily. He was a miracle worker in our eyes and will always hold a special place in our hearts. He saw our children for twenty years before he closed his private practice and pursued other professional dreams, Thanks Dr. K!!! We still miss you dearly. 
   So...getting back to our conversation over 10 years ago. It went something like this: "Dr. K, I think we need a temporary handicapped placard. Ari is getting bigger and it's getting a little dangerous dodging cars while I carry her through the parking lots for all the appointments we have. The weekly blood draws, the Dr. visits, and trying to make it to all the school activities for Lindsay and Nic is getting more challenging. Last week I thought we were going to be roadkill when we had a near miss with a truck. What do you think?  His reply: " Kelli, I think you need a permanent placard, not a temporary one, I will complete a DMV form for you right now".  "Uh, no, that's not what I want", was my immediate reply. "I want a TEMPORARY ONE!!!!  not a permanent one Dr.K". And so the conversation ensued, me with my optimistic attitude that Ari's disabilities would be temporary in nature, and he with his realistic, empathic confrontation that we were going to need all the supports in place for the long haul. I was stubborn and held my own in this discussion. But in the end the reality was that these disablilities are permanent and not going away. Permanent placard versus Kelli, and the Placard Wins, Ugh!
  So three weeks later, the Blue Placard arrived in the mail. It looked so sterile, official, and final. It had Ari's name on the document. The DMV issues this paperwork accompanied with all the rules/regs for its use. The form must be kept in our auto while we transport Ari; said disabled person, named on it. Ding, Ding, Ding...So, here is your Passport to Disability, you are now boarding the flight to Cerebral Palsy.  Please have your ID ready!  I learned I needed to laugh and poke fun at my obstinance in order to cope. Despite my humor, I still had all these mixed emotions, maybe we didn't really need this?? Maybe all this would eventually go away?  But I also knew that I had better cave to the practical necessities in order to make life easier. So we christened the "Pasport" at the next medical appointment with Dr. K, approriately so. Lindsay and Nic thought it was great, they got premier parking wherever we went with Ari. Afterall, teenagers love convenience, so they were like "this is so cool!!!" They were relieved that we could arrive at our destinations on time and leave sooner, imagine that? Parking the car at public places could once again be deemed a simple thing in life. Score One for the Placard.
   Today, the Placard serves us well. It is like a loyal and dedicated friend. It never complains or talks back. It is used multiple times daily. It is committed to seeing us through all those crazy parking lots at schools, hospitals, public buildings, airports, state parks, etc. I must not forget the parking lots at our running events either. We would certainly not have enough space to assemble Ari's adaptive racing chair without a handicapped spot. Worse yet, we might not even make it to a race start line on time without accessible parking. Yes, the Placard has seen both the best and worst of places. It has heard us complain and vent, say a terse word or two at illegal cars parked in handicapped spots. But the placard is a good listener and never judges or repeats what is said behind closed  car doors. Everything is kept confidential with the Placard. So I have come a long way these past ten years in learning to live with what I once considered an unneccessary reminder of Ari's disabilities. Cheers to my on-going relationship with the Placard!
~Wishing you Miles of Smiles,
 Team Ari

Married with Special Needs

 Michael and I are complete opposites. He's a West Coaster, I'm an East Coaster. He's a Republican, I'm a Democrat. He is Tall and brown eyed and I'm Short with blue eyes. He's the strong, silent type, I'm the vocal and emotional one. He likes chocolate ice cream and I like vanilla. He's methodical and patient, and I'm the hurry up, lets get this done and over with. By now you get the point! But being married with a child who has disabilities forces even the most polar opposites to agree to disagree. Michael and I promised each other a long time ago that we would never overstep each other's wishes when it comes to making medical, legal, or educational decisions for Ari. As of this writing, we have successfully lived up to that agreement. Which essentially means that we have bargained, negotiated, compromised, and given in to each other many times. In some respects I think having a child with disabilites has made our union stronger. This is surprising considering that the divorce rate in the general population is over 50%, and in the special needs community it is even higher.  But we are a statistical outlier. Yes, I am proud to say that. We have made it thus far and lived to tell!!!
   In the early days, we were just in survival mode. We didn't know how to comfort ourselves, much less each other. We decided if one of us was having a bad day that it was ok to declare, " I call crying today". Fortunately our timing was impeccable and we rarely grieved on the same days. When Michael was down, I was steady, and when I was distraught, he was strong. We really never  knew what to expect  from day to day, it was a new and foreign journey we were on. But the one thing that was consistent, was our love for one another and the love that we had for our family. 
   Nothing can prepare you for this journey, there's no training manual, there's no crash course to take, or special needs how to get from A to Z book, and there's certainly no married with special needs 911 number to call. So its all about learn as you go. I know we are a work in progress and after 19 years together I think its safe to say we are progressing nicely! As Ari would say, "we are Team Ari and we don't give up!"
~Wishing you Miles of Smiles